honesty..
So..I feel like I should be honest with you guys..
I'm having really big doubts about the summer and a big part of me/most of me doesn't want to do cit anymore. I can't really narrow it down to one reason because I'm not really sure the complete reason myself. I guess one reason is if I do Cit it is leaving the life I am living right now behind. I know that sounds like I should be exited but I'm not. I'm scared. I thought I had changed a lot this last year but really I ha vent. I'm scared of coming home after summer and my parents thinking I'm a wacko. My feelings about it are just totally all over the place.
I guess I don't usually think about the decisions I make, I just do them. But for some reason I feel held back to just do this. It just feels like it is happening so soon. And I'm scared of the change that will occur. At this moment I'm completely scared of everything that is to come. Yet I feel so at home at camp which honestly I don't feel at my own house. Anyway I've been thinking and contemplating writing this for a while now. And I guess I just thought it was fair to let people know where I'm at. Anyway prayers would be appreciated.
-Tara
I'm having really big doubts about the summer and a big part of me/most of me doesn't want to do cit anymore. I can't really narrow it down to one reason because I'm not really sure the complete reason myself. I guess one reason is if I do Cit it is leaving the life I am living right now behind. I know that sounds like I should be exited but I'm not. I'm scared. I thought I had changed a lot this last year but really I ha vent. I'm scared of coming home after summer and my parents thinking I'm a wacko. My feelings about it are just totally all over the place.
I guess I don't usually think about the decisions I make, I just do them. But for some reason I feel held back to just do this. It just feels like it is happening so soon. And I'm scared of the change that will occur. At this moment I'm completely scared of everything that is to come. Yet I feel so at home at camp which honestly I don't feel at my own house. Anyway I've been thinking and contemplating writing this for a while now. And I guess I just thought it was fair to let people know where I'm at. Anyway prayers would be appreciated.
-Tara
posted by Tara at 3:45 PM
12 Comments:
hey tara!
so i'll be praying for :) i really hope you decide to come. if i could give you any advice i guess it would be think about why you originally signed up :)
i'll be praying <3
Ill be praying aswell!! Im sorry I dont really have any advice but I just want to say that Im so glad that you did sign up. I love hanging out with you at Qwanoes! Your so much fun to be around. And I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel at home at camp and sometimes not anywhere else. Ill be praying!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Hey, Tara. I am deffinitely praying that you can decide what you want. I would like to talk more about this with you one-on-one. Next time your online we can talk, if you want.
<3
Hey Tara :)
This does sound like some really difficult stuff you are going through, but I agree with what Victoria said, think about why you signed up in the first place.
It is okay to be scared because we as a group can be there for one another and pray for one another.
Love to talk to you more about this if your up for it one day. I will DEFINATLY being praying that God points you in the direction he desires you to go because God has plans for us all :)
Miss you Tara!!
~MElissa <3
it is a scary thing to contemplate all the change that God works in us. I know that last summer when I began to follow Jesus and asked God to change me I was not prepared to give up the parts of my life (friends, sinful habits, the places I hung around) that were not honoring to him. I was afraid to be changed. But once He gave me a new life I thought my old fears had been so ridiculous because i was now in a new place where I could see that God's plans were huge and epic and more and better than I could have ever dreamed of! Anyway I don't know if that helps, but I know that God DOES have epic plans for you Tara, and if you come to C.I.T. he is going to not only grow you but also care for you and the people around you when you go back from C.I.T.....
<3 m
Tara I totally know how you feel. I am scared out of my pants this summer because I have absolutely no idea what it will be like. Although I would like to stay home and work at the airport I know this is right. Even if it doesn't go great for you when you come home, I think the experience will be worth it. But I will pray for you and I hope you decide to go.
Hey...I will totally be praying for you. I think you decision weather to come or not is in Gods hands and all you need to do is let him guide you and ultimately youll be fine. I will pray that you will follow what God wants weather it is to come and CIT or not (i hope its CIT). As long as you do what God wants I know youll be fine and have a great time. Have faith that he will guide you. I will pray that he will bring you peace and that he will take all your worries away.
Thanks guys. I am still thinking about it. But really I can't picture my summer without camp. I also heard something yesterday that made me kinda realize that I should be at camp. but like I said I still need to figure things out. Thanks for the prayers.
So im coming. I failed science and my dad had said if I failed anything he wouldn't let me go to camp. But hes letting me...which is a shock.
Tara! So i'm not a CIT but I was and I can tell you that you will be so blessed by it. Yes, you will be changed. Question is: will you let that change be permanent? God will work in your heart and do some crazy cool things but the tough part is carrying those home. You will not regret doing CIT. I'm stoked for you, chica.
holly, how did you get into this blog? :S
Holly is awesome! Thanks holly! ps. Im stooked your doing kaleo!
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